Just when I was resigned to being a food addict, I realized I'm not a food addict. I don't need to control my food in order to be "sane" or "normal." What I need is a whole hell of a lot of liberating mental health work and an understanding of why I carry around limiting beliefs about myself, food, and my body. Now the real work has begun...
I wanted to find clarity in the woods, and I sure as hell got it. Only it wasn't at all what I wanted, or thought I wanted, anyway. At all. It was more like clarity in a cup. A very large cup of vanilla ice cream blended with peanut butter cups and chocolate sauce. Wait 24 to 48 hours. Repeat.
Right. In the food, not the mood. Or maybe, "in the mood for food?" You get the idea. In light of my recent roller coaster of relapse, I'd like to share what's so fulfilling about practicing an addiction...and what's so soul-sucking about it. If you've been tuning into this blog since the beginning, you've witnessed … Continue reading Being In the Food
Welcome to the first week of my "8 Weeks in the Woods" series. My family has made it to Michigan and we're living the dream. We're also sharing a cabin that was recently inhabited by mice and cockroaches; but the way I look at it, they're part of our beautiful world, too. Just slow down … Continue reading Week 1: Slow Down and Breathe
I've been running so much that I haven't had a moment to sit down--let alone stand--to share my experiences here. And for the record, when I say running, I don't mean lacing on my gym shoes and jogging around the neighborhood. I mean moving from one task to the next, from one distraction to the … Continue reading Running to Stand Still
I'm uncomfortable with the concept of being powerless. I wouldn't say I'm a control freak, but I believe I'm empowered to do what I need to do as I navigate life. God or the Higher Power notwithstanding, I've got to know that at I have at least some influence over my destiny, my daily living, my next decision, etc. … Continue reading Powerlessness: A Powerful Reality
If you've been following my journey, you've probably noticed some ping-ponging, a behavior that's characteristic of those with weight management issues. One day I'm doing Whole30, the next day I'm not, the day after that I'm waxing philosophic about dichotomous personality and wondering what's wrong with me (I didn't post that one!). But in any quest for … Continue reading When It’s Not Just a Taste
I'm so grateful for the outpouring of support from my friends as I share my healthy lifestyle journey. I need to say this for myself, if not to clarify my intentions to whomever might be reading this, that I am not retooling my lifestyle in order to achieve a certain appearance. Sure, I care about how … Continue reading What’s This REALLY All About?
It's been 27 days now since I've eaten sugary treats. It hasn't been nearly as difficult as I thought it would be, and I believe that's because: a.) I've accepted what happens when I eat desserts, and b.) I'd just rather not deal with that. It's really that simple. I don't like what happens to … Continue reading 27 Days
Two nights ago I made crock pot chicken pot pie and took the suggestion of serving it over biscuits. Big mistake. Those buttery Pillsbury Grands are so unbelievable--eating them is like eating muffins or donuts. But I tempted fate and incorporated them into a recipe. After eating my one serving, I went back for another … Continue reading Bombed By Biscuit