When the Disordered Behavior Really Started

It was four years ago this week that I realized I was losing control. Below the surface, beyond what I was willing (or able) to access, was terror. My life's reality was more than overwhelming: I had a demanding toddler, a helpless infant, a sick grandmother, a crushing real estate sob story, pressure-building freelance work, … Continue reading When the Disordered Behavior Really Started

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Are You Listening to the F’ed Up Greek Chorus in Your Head?

I've got news for you: that voice in your head that tells you you're worthless, you're a failure, if only you'd done things differently...it's not really your voice. The judgmental bully is called your Superego, a complication of voices--critical relatives, mean kids at school, a diet- and money-obsessed culture--who dominate your thoughts when triggered. Think of … Continue reading Are You Listening to the F’ed Up Greek Chorus in Your Head?

Clarity in the Woods, You Ask?

I wanted to find clarity in the woods, and I sure as hell got it. Only it wasn't at all what I wanted, or thought I wanted, anyway. At all. It was more like clarity in a cup. A very large cup of vanilla ice cream blended with peanut butter cups and chocolate sauce. Wait 24 to 48 hours. Repeat.

Being In the Food

Right. In the food, not the mood. Or maybe, "in the mood for food?" You get the idea. In light of my recent roller coaster of relapse, I'd like to share what's so fulfilling about practicing an addiction...and what's so soul-sucking about it. If you've been tuning into this blog since the beginning, you've witnessed … Continue reading Being In the Food